Dazed and Confused.

When I first started this journey about 10 years ago, I was so lost and confused.  I didn't know who I was and where I was going with my life.

I was in a dead end job and I was in dysfunctional relationships.  Boy, I was just going around in circles.  I was so unhappy and unfulfilled.   I just kept on asking the question what was wrong with this picture?

I call it my lost years.

What was wrong with the Picture?   All the answers were on one single word and that word was ME!   Yes...me!

At first, that was a hard pill to swallow.  My ego was not going to allow that answer.   It had to be my job, the people that I knew or the men that I was dating but NOT me.  It was everything outside myself.   I didn't want to know the truth.

I then asked God (yes, I believe in God) to show me the truth.   I asked God to give me the answer to the question I was asking.  Don't worry God, I can handle the truth.  The simple truth is that we really can't handle the truth.  Funny how that works.

But, God in his infinite wisdom showed me in baby steps.   To get my attention and this was back in 2005, I was hit by a car.  Not an easy way to start my search but it did get my attention.  You can only bitch for so long when you're in pain.  I was blessed that no bones were broken and that I wasn't killed.   Physically, I spent a week in bed and healing with the help of Ibuprofen and a good chiropractor.    Emotionally, I had the help of great friends and the help of the Unity Church.

I had just started going to Unity Church before I was hit by the car.   The Course of Miracles gave me the tools that I needed to handle this situation.   To be honest with you, it was  free therapy and boy did I do alot of crying during that 1 hour.  Unity Church started my emotional healing and started me on my personal relationship with God.   This was class 101 in who is God really?

In order to understand previous comment, you have to understand one simple thing.   I was raised in the Catholic Church.  Ahhh...you say.  Now, you get it.   Not that Catholics are bad people but this will have to continue on the next blog.   I seem to have run out of space.

What is a girl suppose to do?